Day 53: Gay Paree

Day 53:  Notre Dame.  Woody arrived in Paris.  He's craving French bread but will avoid soufflés (abstains from eating eggs) and French onion soup, as he's suffered from BIRD GERD since the 'incident' with Maggie.  He hooked up with some local pigeons in the hotel lobby who frequent Notre Dame and had a private tour of the uppermost level.  Here he is on a ledge with a gargoyle enjoying the breathtaking night lights of Gay Paree.  Woody's acrophobia resurfaced, so he called it a night.

Day 46: Safari Continued

Day 46:  More safari footage.  Woody encounters a dangerous, raging herd of elephants.  Obviously, this is a highly mutant gang of outcasts as no two seem to share similar genetic markings.  Woody seems unbelievably calm considering the potential for deadly confrontation.  Possibly, Mrs. Grubb's lesson from 10th grade biology class is stored in what remains of his brain stem..."elephants don't eat birds."

Day 18: Waiting by the Phone

Day 18: Good grief. Woody spent most of the day waiting for call backs from more celebrities. The call from Ellen really gave him a big head. He mentioned potential interest from Dr. Oz, Judge Judy, Dr. Phil and even Donald Trump for an appearance on Celebrity Apprentice. I think he needs a reality show, but I don't want to egg him on.

Day 16: Phone Call from Ellen Degeneres

Day 16 : It's now been over 2 weeks since the accident. I have to share a wonderful, exciting event from yesterday afternoon. Woody received a surprise phone call from Ellen Degeneres!!! Ellen expressed regret for premiering the original video of Woody and Maggie on her show which developed into a totally unfortunate event for all involved. She invited Woody to appear on the show and is providing a check for $10,000 to cover the the Domestic Abuse legal expenses. Maggie and I are doomed.