Day 35: NO!

Day 35:  Woody, no.  I realize you think you could be SuperBird, but an aging Clark Kent is not the right look for you.  Let's put our heads together, or at least one of our heads, and attempt to find a solution that can fly.

Day 31: Woody Buys a Car

Day 31:  On a lark, Woody bought a car today.  He wouldn't admit it, but I'm certain he used the rest of the money Ellen Degeneres gave him and blew it on the roadster.  Woody saw the listing on Craig's List and am guessing this picture was taken by the seller in front of his house.  This really sticks in my craw.  How could he be so bird brained?

Day 24: Homecoming Week

Day 24:  Woody will spend the next few days visiting old haunts in his hometown.  This is the house where he grew up.  It's currently vacant, insect infested and badly in need of repair.  The old swing and the front perch have been removed, and the interior is in shambles from damage done by vultures and loons in the hood who use it as a crack house.  The family tree has been drilled, clawed and hammered into a pile of sawdust.      

Day 22: PTSD

Day 22:  Woody has been having terrible flashbacks, hallucinations and night terrors.  We're not sure if it's PTSD from the attack or if he's been doing some recreational experimentation with his peeps at the bar.  He's going to have to shake a tail feather and snap out of this.

Day 21: Dermatologist Visit

Day 21:  Dermatologist appt.  Dr. Tso examined Woody's torso for infection and decided he needs cosmetic surgery.  We opted for a navel piercing with interchangeable decorative elements.  Woody is now sporting a vintage Lone Ranger button to hide the abdominal stain.  He didn't squawk once, yet the process was lengthy and looked painful.  Next, we stopped at our favorite local diner for lunch.  Nothing like a soothing bowl of "Mmm Mmm Good" chicken soup.  Woody took a selfie with the owners.

Day 16: Phone Call from Ellen Degeneres

Day 16 : It's now been over 2 weeks since the accident. I have to share a wonderful, exciting event from yesterday afternoon. Woody received a surprise phone call from Ellen Degeneres!!! Ellen expressed regret for premiering the original video of Woody and Maggie on her show which developed into a totally unfortunate event for all involved. She invited Woody to appear on the show and is providing a check for $10,000 to cover the the Domestic Abuse legal expenses. Maggie and I are doomed.